“The big sad was a severe worldwide economic depression that took place mostly during the 1930s, beginning in the United States. The timing of the big sad varied across the world; in most countries, it started in 1929 and lasted until the late 1930s. It was the longest, deepest, and most widespread depression of the 20th century.

— The internet

Collection of sad essays from ages 19-22, a sad time.

cw; suicidal thoughts

Part I

i run away
doesn’t it?
moments of winter
i wish my dreams didn’t exist
plane thoughts
when did i start to dislike my birthdays?
i’m not ready for ihop to change
summer tastes like an iced coffee
washed with a passing desire
not enough
i don’t get it
i’m sorry, but i won’t make it to your party
so/still alone
fall nights
i thrive on vulnerability
woe is it over the souls i shall never meet
the romantic ideal of the wordless walk
those who never asked why
metaphysical idealism and the captivation of social media
another birthday, another question
things that aren’t the same

Part II

becoming a piece of used tape
one conversation is all it takes
the night tube
finding my childhood in kingdom hearts
the econometric origins of emotional indifference
the impermanence of tattoos
on those mellow mornings i sit down and weep
one step forwards, two steps back
my patio
wandering alone in dublin
a semester between two costas
ask me no questions
watermelon for dinner
this world is not for me
snow and shit
the roses
my commute
two rocks in a river
lust for life
what it seemed
the ontological origins of vulnerability
an object in motion

Part III

the third clarity
the inevitable fall from attraction
convinced / unconvinced
what happened to the l-word
the sweltering
the image of unlovability
echoes / time / overflow
philosophy of friendship
two gates
commencement canceled
quarantine thoughts
thunderstorms and cold intimacies
forgetting dreams
definitive feeling
the yearbook effect
memories, context, and emotional pain
life and the game of hearts
a different world
the function of study spaces in time
happy memories as causation and possession
college graduation
the invincible summer
stochastic processes
the world beyond destiny’s island

Copyright © 2020 Grant Wei
All rights reserved.