One empty Word document open and ninety-seven rejections later, I find myself, once again, asking myself the same questions I have asked myself my entire life.

What am I doing wrong?
Why am I being accustomed to rejection?
Am I living the life I want to live?

Some companies give me a sense of closure. One morning, I can wake up to the sound of my phone alarm and instinctually throw my arm over to unlock my phone. I briefly scroll down my notifications to see if there are any parts I need to immediately address. On the lock screen, I can see a simple email with the subject: APPLICATION UPDATE. In the description lays a brief teaser of the body,

Thank you for your interest, but unfortunately we have not decided to advance…”

I go back to sleep.

Others leave me in a state of limbo, leaving me to wonder whether I had just been rejected or whether they had forgotten about me.

I don’t consider myself a bad student. I certainly feel as if I am maximizing the opportunities given to me to the best of my abilities — yet, why is it that I have such a difficult time finding employment?

I ask myself: Do I need to change what I study?

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s